I can’t think of many 81-year-olds who could command a stage or a TV screen quite like Joan Rivers. The world has spent the past few weeks mourning the loss of the comedic legend, who passed away from complications related to a throat procedure. Prior to her death, I never knew her real age. She had the wit and humor of a 20-something, and of course, we all know her love of plastic surgery to keep looking young and refreshed. She even gifted her staff with the “plastic surgery procedure of your choice” for Christmas instead of a ham! She was a woman who my generation loved (I’m a proud Joan Ranger!) and also someone who baby boomers and beyond could relate to. Other than Betty White, it’s hard to imagine anyone else with that much appeal.
The woman had always been a pioneer. In the 1980s, she was paving the way for women comedians by becoming a regular guest host on Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show. She would eventually become the first woman to have her own late night talk show on a major network. In addition to cracking (cringe-worthy) jokes about herself and other celebrities, Joan’s love of fashion eventually landed her a few regular gigs hosting red carpets and as host of Fashion Police. Only Joan Rivers could get away with telling Julia Roberts that her dress for the red carpet was hideous. Yet that was the boldness that we all came to know and love about the viper-tongued vixen. She was a true testament to age never stopping you from fulfilling your dreams.
In honor of her recent passing, I thought it would be fitting to list a few of her most memorable one-liners. While trying to keep it PG, here’s a list of some of my favorites. I hope reading these brings you as much laughter as it did me.
- “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”
- “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
- “People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money you can always have a key made.”
- “All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman on the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”
- “I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.”